Benjamin smythe relationship goals

benjamin smythe relationship goals

Love and Relationships in the search for Truth. Benjamin Smythe dream-like story which is uniquely human and is also sublimely without purpose. For the. a ben, a benjamin, a benjamin thaddeus, a benjamin thaddues smythe, a son, an –having a goal changes only the direction of action does not change. Benjamin Smythe What Do You Think Makes A Relationship Work mp3 скачать без Benjamin Smythe Why Do People Awaken But Fail to Achieve the Goal of .

He might still think about you, he might even still care about you, but what really matters is what he is doing about it. When hope is based on a fantasy it can destroy your life. In the end I forced myself to look at reality.

He had not called me for almost 3 years. We would never get back together. During my relationship I had made this person the biggest source of my happiness. I thought my happiness depended on his presence in my life. You have to find other things to focus on, other sources of happiness.

I learned to focus more on my family and my friends. I started spending a lot more time with them and realized how happy they made me and how much I appreciated them. I also started reading a lot of books again. My focus shifted towards life questions like who do I want to be and what do I want to do with my life. Whenever you have a breakdown, it is a chance to rebuild yourself again. And that is exactly what I did. I became very self aware and questioned all of my beliefs about myself and the world.

I started exploring myself and experiencing life. I am a completely different person today than the day lykke li was singing to a dead eyed girl.

So completely focus on yourself, find out what you truly enjoy. What do you still want to experience in the world? Time is passing us by. You have to be very honest about whether you want to be happy. I used to think about all the mistakes I thought I had made.

If only I had acted a little different we would still be together. If only I had different needs then it would have worked.

Yes if I had the same needs as he had, it might have worked. But that person would not be me. I accepted that this is the type of person I am and these are the needs I have.

I enjoy a lot of physical affection for example and I want to spend a lot of time with the people I love, especially my partner.

These are not insane needs that no one can fulfill, there are millions of people out there who have the same desires in a relationship. Now I could ignore my needs and force myself to be with this person, but for what? His needs are not going to change overnight and neither are mine.

I had to make a choice between my own happiness and this person. I decided my happiness will always be more important than any man. Take away the crown: I had fallen head over heals in love with this man and after the breakup I continued to put him on a pedestal. I had a very selective memory. I only remembered all the times he made me feel beautiful and the deep conversations we had.

I remembered how safe he made me feel. I was clinging to a fantasy man and a fantasy relationship. I was in love with his potential, with the man I thought he could be. I had made him into a king and no other man could compare. I had to be honest with myself and take away the crown.

What fantasy image have you created of this person? Are you looking at who they really are, or are you thinking about who they could be and how great the relationship could be. Maybe you are clinging to who this person was at the beginning of the relationship and you hope it will be like that again. And fantasies rarely come to life.

At first it was difficult for me to accept the breakup, because I had linked the failed relationship to my worth as a woman. I had to change myself in order to be worthy.

Obviously I was young and I had made mistakes, we both had. However I have since come to see that everything happens for a reason, and life will always be changing. This perfect love is already your nature and it is already accomplished. There are no human experiences. There are no entities called humans that experience certain things. All experience belongs to Consciousness including all the thoughts, sensations and perceptions that are normally considered to belong to humans. The human being is not an entity that owns, has, feels or knows anything.

It is a known of felt object, that is, a thought, sensation or perception. In other words, only the Absolute merits the name 'love. Love is precisely the dissolution of all such objects in Consciousness. Do we not know that? Do we not know that love is precisely the dissolution of everything that keeps us, defined, separate, apart?

Unless you have realized them as one with yourself, you cannot love them. Awakening is not about fixing yourself. It is about revealing every aspect of yourself with love, acceptance and compassion. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.

When they serve to reflect your universality, they are a mirror, a tool of liberation. Love is your individual and collective soul. To know yourself, to surrender to the truth of yourself, is to surrender to love. And there is never anything between us.

From Love - Quotes

There is only love. There is no better or worse, no path, and nothing that has to be achieved. All appearance is source. There is no separate intelligence weaving a destiny, and no choice functioning at any level. Nothing is happening, but this, as it is, invites the apparent seeker to rediscover that which already is, the abiding uncaused, unchanging, impersonal silence from which unconditional love overflows and celebrates.

It is the wonderful mystery. You can only notice that you have already fallen. It is not true my dear Heart! Very passionately, with humor and patience keep up this conviction and welcome all the contractions and "children out in the cold" inside You into your Freedom!

And the past has been full of misunderstandings, but that is not necessarily to be so in the future. We can learn a lesson from the past, and the only lesson is that man and woman have to become more understanding of each other and more accepting of each other's differences.

Those differences are valuable, they need not create any conflict, in fact they are the causes of attraction between them. If all the differences between men and women disappear, if they have the same kind of psychology, love will also disappear because the polarity will not be there. Man and woman are like negative and positive poles of electricity: Hence, conflict is natural. But through understanding, through compassion, through love, through looking into the other's world and trying to be sympathetic to it, all the problems can be solved.

Man needs as much liberation as woman. They should cooperate with each other and help each other to be liberated from the mind. That will be a true liberation movement. It is easy to disguise as non-attachment what is not non-attachment at all, but your fear of attachment.

When you really care about someone and you are willing to commit to that friendship, then you have fertile ground to learn about both attachment and non-attachment. That is what makes the marriage relationship so rich.

benjamin smythe relationship goals

In Unicity we do not love others we ARE them. That transparent non-objective experience belongs to Consciousness alone, not to humans, rocks, lizards, molecules, black holes, or Ruperts! And because all experience is ultimately Consciousness knowing its own being, including the apparent modifications of the dualising mind, all experience is love itself.

If your house is desires, burn it down. It is only the absence of desire that makes you happy, so allow no desire to rise. Just allow yourself to be dissolved by Love.

When there is no desire there is Love and Beauty. If you do desire, then only desire Peace, because what you think you will become: Water poured in the Ocean becomes the Ocean. Hence, meditation is a must before you can really love. One should be capable of being alone, utterly alone, and yet tremendously blissful.

Then you can love.

benjamin smythe relationship goals

Then your love is no more a need but a sharing, no more a necessity. You will not become dependent on the people you love. You will share, and sharing is beautiful. It requires no effort, demands no standards and holds no preferences. Being timeless it sees no path to tread, no debt to pay. Because it acknowledges no right or wrong, neither does it recognise judgement or guilt.

Its love is absolutely unconditional. It simply watches with clarity, compassion and delight as I move out for my return.

It is my birthright. It is my home. It is already that which I am. Let your self be burned in this fire of eternity, love and peace.

benjamin smythe relationship goals

Don't be afraid of this fire, it is love itself. This desire for freedom is the fire of love! Once we get used to that, quite naturally if we're willing, we'll put less emphasis on story and we'll start to enjoy the soothing presence of aware-being. The world is exactly as it should be. Love your self wisely and you will reach the summit of perfection. Everybody loves his body, but few love their real being. Your real being is love itself, and your many loves are its reflections according to the situation at the moment.

As long as the observer, the inner self, the higher self, considers himself apart from the observed, the lower self, despises it and condemns it, the situation is hopeless.

It is only when the observer vyakta accepts the person vyakti as a projection or manifestation of himself and, so to say, takes the self into the Self, the duality of "I" and "this" goes, and in the identity of the outer and the inner the Supreme Reality manifests itself. This union of the seer and the seen happens when the seer becomes conscious of himself as the seer; he is not merely interested in the seen, which he is anyhow, but also interested in being interested, giving attention to attention, aware of being aware.

Affectionate awareness is the crucial factor that brings Reality into focus. When the vyakti realizes its non-existence in separation from the vyakta, and the vyakta sees the vyakti as his own expression, then the peace and silence of the avyakta state come into being. In reality the three are one: In the wake of this transcendence, something amazing arises. A deep love and caring arises from within emptiness, from nowhere.

This love and caring seeks only the Truth in every moment and in all circumstances. True love is something far greater than anything that could be called personal. True love is a non-personal miracle. It is the nature of reality itself.

How to let go of your ex once and for all (even if it feels impossible)

It is the natural and spontaneous expression of the undivided Self. So often nonduality can seem so heady, so conceptual, so intellectual.

All those concepts of nothingness and absence and presence! Actually this is all about love. Love is the union of heart and mind. Nonduality isn't being detached from the world, being the witness of everything and taking part in nothing.

It's not about sitting on your mountaintop and looking down at the world, pitying those poor mortals who aren't awakened as you are, those poor souls who still have egos! No, love cannot stand back from the world, because it IS the world. The heart of presence radiates love. Love has no form. All that is necessary is to abandon the external search for this.

We must stop "seeking for love in all the wrong places"; just recognize, and totally relax into, that pure awareness that we already are. But it can be discovered that you are already unconditionally loved. Look in the mirror. And to escape to the Himalayas or to some Catholic monastery because of the fear of becoming dependent is again the sign of weakness; it is cowardly.

To live in relationship and yet remain independent, that is what courage is. The new man will be courageous. These are the two types of relationship. Wherever love is, fight ceases, ego drops.

Life After Awakening

This is why you cannot love. It is difficult, because to love means to drop the ego, to drop yourself. Love means not to be. It's a love affair with aliveness. It's about dropping the idea that anybody has a life and realising that all there is is life. You do not have a life - you are life, and in life ego, desire, hatred, love all happen.

And I am the one in which that happens. And so are you. Love spread through my body and the entirety of my Presence and radiated to the other. All seem suffused by love. When I became love itself, there was no longer room for two; I become one with the other, whether God, cat, a red spider, or a lover.

benjamin smythe relationship goals

We share the same presence. Then there is the rest, peace and completion of perfecting Bhakti, the sweetness and mother of Consciousness. Opposing this is the rest of the Jnani, abiding as the witness, the father Brahman and protector Ishwara of Consciousness. Between these two rests, lies all the drama of the world, the motion and emotion, the riddles and concepts, the suffering and love. It is all there. It has many climates, many moods. It has many surprises. A dead relationship remains stagnant.

It is repetitive, it is the same, but then it is no more a relationship. Then you are not two persons, you are two things together.

Of course two things never quarrel. The quarrel arises when two persons enter. The only thing that can cost you your husband is if you believe a thought.

That's how you move away from him. That's how the marriage ends. You are one with your husband until you believe the thought that he should look a certain way, he should give you something, he should be something other than what he is.

That's how you divorce him. Right then and there you have lost your marriage. Sometimes being real means allowing pain or accepting a painful truth. Yet something in us aligns with an inner ground of authenticity when we are real. We love it because of its inherent rightness in our soul, the sense of "Aha, here I am and there is nothing to do but be. Almaas Each relationship is a mirror.