Forgiving and forgetting in a relationship

When You Have Problems In a Relationship - Should You Forgive and Forget?

forgiving and forgetting in a relationship

In every relationship there are very likely to be times when our partner will do things to us that we regard as offensive, insensitive to our feelings. How to forgive and forget when someone hurts you in a relationship? Or when your best friend back-stabbed you? Most religion, including the. Essential to any loving and viable relationship is the capacity to forgive. The forgiving and forgetting that a couple does on a day-to-day basis.

Giving them the chance to express their side of the situation will give you a better understanding of why they acted the way they did.

You may learn that everything was a misunderstanding or that you were not hurt intentionally. Allowing the other person a chance to offer their take on the situation will enable you to see their motives.

Forgiving and Forgetting – How to Truly Forgive and Then Truly Forget | Relationship Remedy

This kind of forgiveness can only be achieved by understanding your own feelings as well as those of the person who wronged you. It requires you to express your feelings in a rational way, realizing that your relationship is more important than being right. Give yourself a little time to manage your own feelings and collect your thoughts so that when you approach your partner you are able to speak about your feelings in a rational manner.

A crucial aspect of forgiving and forgetting is valuing your relationship more than you value being right in a disagreement. While you may be completely right in a situation, being right is not worth destroying the relationship over. If you are able to put your love for your partner ahead of the need for being right you will be more willing to forgive and forget.

forgiving and forgetting in a relationship

Also, forgiving and forgetting will allow your relationship to continue to flourish simply because working through conflicts makes a relationship stronger. Then let them know that you accept their apology and are willing to not let this situation interfere with your future interactions. The power of apologies is that they restore trust in the care and concern you have for your partner.

For couples the exchange of apology and forgiveness can be a positive turning point, a growth step, a renewed sense in the ability to overcome anything! Hurt, betrayed, and embarrassed Ruth accepted the apology. She loved Mike and wanted to recover as a couple together. When I met this couple it was clear that although Ruth forgave — she would not forget.

forgiving and forgetting in a relationship

In addition at times after they had a good night or a great weekend, Ruth would go from the good feeling to tears making Mike feel that he had damaged their relationship forever. What was difficult for Ruth to realize was that her fear of being betrayed and control of Mike was keeping her from finding out if she really could trust him to recover their bond.

When You Have Problems In a Relationship - Should You Forgive and Forget?

What was difficult for Mike to realize was that Ruth wanted to forgive and forget but needed some time to feel safe enough to really do this. Forgiveness like recovery from trauma takes time.

forgiving and forgetting in a relationship

The Importance of Day-to-Day Forgiving and Forgetting The forgiving and forgetting that a couple does on a day-to-day basis for the lapses, differences, mistakes and oversights that go with being human reflect and build couple resilience. The ability to forgive and forget creates safety and permission to be less than perfect.

forgiving and forgetting in a relationship

To foster this resilience: Remember all that there is about your partner. She is much more than the woman who lost your car keys.