Opposites Attract: The True Story of an ENFP Married (Happily!) to an ISTJ
Are you an ENFP wondering how to make a relationship work between two opposite personality types? Read this post for some dating advice. How to maintain a relationship with your polar opposite other half If you pay careful attention to the letters ISTJ and ENFP, you will notice that. I noticed that all the answers here were from ISTJ's describing what they enjoy about ENFP's but no ENFP's explaining what they really enjoy about the ISTJ.ISTJ in 4 Minutes
If you remember a few key characteristics of this inspector, rest assured, he'll be the most loyal and committed partner you'll have. A surprise getaway for the weekend sounds super-romantic, doesn't it? Not for your ISTJ partner anyway.
They hate surprises or anything that messes up with their perfectly planned life. So, if you do want to do something fun together, discuss it with your partner, plan things together, and yes, then enjoy!
Your ISTJ partner will love to take charge and handle all the details for you. Patience is the key in any relationship, more so if you are dating an ISTJ. They take time to commit, because they want to think about all the aspects of any situation. But, once they do commit, they'll never let you go. Give them time to open up.
If you keep on pushing them too much, they'll hide in their shell. You may have plans to have a lavish dinner date, while your partner may act all stingy. ISTJs may sometimes act very cheap with money. Do try to find some middle ground, rather than arguing.
Struggles Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler. Thinkers may not understand the Feeler's desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler's behavior and deem them complicated.
Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don't show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship. Judging-Perceiving Joys Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger's opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers - something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate. Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything - something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
Struggles However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness - Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers. Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly.
Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don't like to keep things neat and orderly at least in the Judger's eyes - this of course drives Judgers crazy.
Judgers may also find the Perceiver's lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver's life as a result - this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate. However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. How did we arrive at this?
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Such is the greatest goal of an ISTJ parent toward their child. Along the path towards this goal, the ISTJ expects that their children honor their traditional familial roles.
As parents, they demand respect and authority from their children. They willingly accept their parental role of provider and guardian.
Once the ISTJ becomes a parent, it becomes a "given" that they will perform all of the duties associated with parenthood, and they will do so without grudge or burden. However, they expect that their children give them their due respect in return, and will have little patience with disrespectful behavior.
When it comes to giving punishment or discipline, the ISTJ will be able to do so when necessary without too much internal trauma. They see it as their duty to teach their children when they've done wrong, and so will administer the punishment in the name of the greater cause of doing their duty towards their children.
Not to imply that the ISTJ will enjoy disciplining their children, they simply will put their duties before their personal feelings.
The ISTJ is likely to have a problem giving a lot of positive affirmation and support to their children. Having very high expectations for their own behavior and the behavior of others, the ISTJ often forgets to give praise when praise is due. All children need positive support as they find their place in the world, and this is especially true for children with the Feeling preference, who benefit tremendously from positive affirmation, and suffer sometimes tremendously in its void.
The ISTJ who recognizes sensitivity in their child should take special care to give them positive support and affirmation. The ISTJ will create a consistent, secure environment for their children, with definite roles and boundaries. Although this may at times create division between the parent and child especially during rebellious adolescenceit will generally promote the child's growth into a secure adult.
ISTJ Relationship Compatibility With Other Personality Types
ISTJ parents will be remembered and honored by their children for being good people who always tried their best, and for putting the needs of their children above their own. ISTJs as Friends Although friendships do not rank highest in the ISTJ's list of important relationships whose duties and obligation to the Family rank above all elsethey do have value these relationships and put effort into enhancing and maintaining them. The ISTJ is likely to choose to be around people who have similar interests and perspectives to their own, and are likely to not have much patience with people who are very different from themselves.